"I can't pinpoint when the trouble actually started," says Ireland, "but one day I realized that my talkative toddler had grown silent. Vinnie used to say the names of his brother and sisters all the time, 'Joe', 'Gina' and 'Lucy'. He used to talk to me and point out things all around him. But that day, it dawned on me that he was starting to lose words. Then, I noticed that he stopped making eye contact with everyone in our family."

How long had this been going on? Ireland wondered. She'd been so busy with all four of her young children that she did not notice the gradual loss of her youngest child's speech.

At first, Lori and her husband Gregg thought that there was some temporary problem that carried with it a simple cure. After all, Vinnie had reached all his developmental milestones on schedule, just like his siblings. Still, both Ireland and her pediatrician agreed that Vinnie had deviated far enough from the norm to require the opinion of a psychologist. Since the family lived in Ranchos Palos Verdes, California at the time, the psychologist referred Ireland to UCLA medical center where Vinnie underwent a battery of tests. He was then diagnosed as having "autistic tendencies."

"I didn't know whether to be relieved or not," says Ireland. "The only exposure I'd gotten to autism was a character on the television show 'St. Elsewhere' and in the movie 'Rain Man'. I figured that 'autistic tendencies' was a whole lot better than full-blown autism, whatever that was. At the suggestion of the staff at UCLA, we enrolled Vinnie in speech and occupational therapy."

The Problem Worsened
Neither Lori nor Gregg Ireland anticipated what would unfold next. While Vinnie was taking part in therapy, his condition worsened. By then he was three years old.

"He became so hyperactive that we were having trouble managing him," she recalls. "The sleeping problems were the worst. Vinnie would be up all night, and he wouldn't sleep during the day so he was extremely sleep deprived. So were Gregg and I. This was particularly upsetting because you expect your child to improve in a hospital or other therapeutic setting. Finally, we were referred to a specialist, Dr. B. J. Freeman. And what she told us was a devastating blow."

Freeman diagnosed Vinnie as being "definitely autistic." Not "somewhat," not "tendency toward," but definitely autistic. The severity of Vinnie's condition was categorized as "moderate." Some autistic children are considered "high functioning," and others "severe." Vinnie fit somewhere in the middle of this autism spectrum, but he definitely had autism.

The Irelands soon learned that autism is a developmental disorder that makes it difficult to communicate and form social relationships, and that people with autism have repetitive behaviors and/or unusual interests. For reasons not completely clear, people with autism seem to have trouble processing what they sense around them. For instance, they may not understand the facial expressions of other people or be able to filter out background noise during a conversation.

Years ago, bad parenting was thought to be a cause of autism. That theory is definitely not true, as proven by years of research efforts. Today, autism is recognized as a complex biological disorder that affects the brain during development, primarily caused by genetic factors. However, environmental factors may also contribute to the development of autism, but none have been conclusively identified as major causes. Because of autism's genetic component, it is not unusual to find extended families with several autistic members. This theory, sadly, has been reinforced by Lori Ireland's own in-laws. Gregg Ireland's brother Dan and his sister-in-law Zoe have learned that their two sons, younger than Vinnie, also have autism. But knowing that autism was beyond the Ireland's control gave them little comfort.

Acceptance
"For the first year after the diagnosis, we were in denial," says Ireland. "We still couldn't believe it. I tried to identify some other reasons for Vinnie's condition. Was it something he ate? Was it a reaction to a vaccine? Autism can be a very isolating experience. We didn't want people to know."

Ireland acknowledges that she was fortunate that Vinnie was not her firstborn. "Many first-time parents are insecure in their roles as parents," says Ireland. "If Vinnie had been my first, I would have blamed myself for his problems. Wasn't I loving enough? Didn't I give him enough attention? Thank goodness my first three children developed typically. At least I had a yardstick to go by."

Finally, the Irelands accepted Vinnie's condition and investigated all possible avenues to help them all cope. They agreed to allow Vinnie to undergo any diagnostic test, as long as the test was not invasive, such as the procedure to measure secretin in the intestinal tract. They learned all they could about any medication that might help. Finally, the drugs Anafranil® (clomipramine hydrochloride) and Risperdal® (risperidone) reduced Vinnie's repetitive movements and eased his insomnia. With the worst of his symptoms minimized, Vinnie could finally work on his communication and learning skills.

Programs and Schools
The Irelands chose to relocate across the country so that Vinnie could have access to schools and programs for autism that they felt would be the best for him. In late June of 1994, they settled in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, to take advantage of the TEACCH program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. As a result of his participation in this well-known educational program and similar programs in the area, Vinnie has learned how to better communicate in the home. He has also become "easier to live with," says Ireland.

"I accept the fact that there is no cure for autism so far. But an autistic child can and will improve if given the right environment. We were fortunate that we had the financial resources to get the best help for our son during a time when we had so little information, but there are also programs for autistic children that are free or low-cost. I would suggest that parents contact the Autism Society of America in their state for information about local programs. There is hope."

Today, at age 12, Vinnie Ireland can communicate with his family and take care of his personal needs. He also shows none of the unusual eating patterns that can affect some autistic children. He attends special classes in a local middle school, and while he doesn't "mainstream" as such, he "parallels" with other children during lunch time and physical education classes. His older brother and sisters are accepting of him, as are Lori and Gregg Ireland's friends.

What advice would Lori Ireland give to parents who first learn of their child's diagnosis?

"Well, first thing, don't panic," she cautions. "Second, know that it's not your fault. Third, there are programs that can help your child, based on the severity of the disorder. You can access these programs. Fourth, seek out the network of people who are also affected by autism. You will find a very caring group that understands your situation, and will help you by sharing their own experience. Lastly, allow yourself the right to grieve."

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